Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
