I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!