Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Her vagina should come with caution tape.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Her vagina should come with caution tape. http://tfl.nu/ca9x
  Replies (9) Good night (858) Bad night (4546)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat. http://tfl.nu/jbsx
  Replies (62) Good night (10030) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders http://tfl.nu/1b2g
  Replies (21) Good night (4505) Bad night (1223)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to? http://tfl.nu/fqx3
  Replies (52) Good night (8751) Bad night (1410)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  True romance of the 21st century.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too. (1-410): True romance of the 21st century. http://tfl.nu/laza
  Replies (62) Good night (13560) Bad night (1498)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon. http://tfl.nu/yrqs
  Replies (8) Good night (1217) Bad night (3928)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude. http://tfl.nu/2xpl
  Replies (7) Good night (3696) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this. http://tfl.nu/rnqg
  Replies (12) Good night (2908) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher

  (312): View more from Illinois

  And maybe a life coach?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher (312): And maybe a life coach? http://tfl.nu/dluc
  Replies (2) Good night (2246) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses. http://tfl.nu/ogb0
  Replies (3) Good night (1274) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time http://tfl.nu/d70u
  Replies (8) Good night (1425) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_- http://tfl.nu/01p5
  Replies (2) Good night (1091) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (457): View more from

  Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (457): Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though http://tfl.nu/vzyv
  Replies (8) Good night (1373) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes? (256): absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything. http://tfl.nu/f7u7
  Replies (9) Good night (1062) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball. http://tfl.nu/qe48
  Replies (7) Good night (416) Bad night (853)

Randomize