Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it

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  (312): i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it http://tfl.nu/tzqh
  Replies (92) Good night (7418) Bad night (2003)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time

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  (254): I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time http://tfl.nu/rajz
  Replies (21) Good night (8340) Bad night (889)
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  (818): View more from California

  Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.

  (818): View more from California

  And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.

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  (818): Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas. (818): And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you. http://tfl.nu/hyux
  Replies (14) Good night (5480) Bad night (1195)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"

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  (902): You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear" http://tfl.nu/r2vo
  Replies (7) Good night (6982) Bad night (1034)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.

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  (615): The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted. http://tfl.nu/wtc2
  Replies (4) Good night (3157) Bad night (984)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.

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  (770): At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it. http://tfl.nu/bg9a
  Replies (11) Good night (6211) Bad night (1119)
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  (818): View more from California

  we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.

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  (818): we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices. http://tfl.nu/8xc8
  Replies (9) Good night (2473) Bad night (767)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other

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  (608): I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other http://tfl.nu/go45
  Replies (15) Good night (3406) Bad night (1005)
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  (213): View more from California

  I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.

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  (213): I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing. http://tfl.nu/4hkr
  Replies (1) Good night (809) Bad night (2378)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you found the shrooms didnt you

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  (484): how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time (215): you found the shrooms didnt you http://tfl.nu/rmts
  Replies (7) Good night (4284) Bad night (704)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.

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  (+61): I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7. http://tfl.nu/on6e
  Replies (10) Good night (1376) Bad night (803)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds

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  (416): Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds http://tfl.nu/xosv
  Replies (3) Good night (476) Bad night (861)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"

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  (502): I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink" http://tfl.nu/1myn
  Replies (5) Good night (2250) Bad night (581)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.

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  (720): Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid. http://tfl.nu/ckk0
  Replies (2) Good night (837) Bad night (218)
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  (+46): View more from Sweden

  Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving

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  (+46): Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving http://tfl.nu/pqr1
  Replies (3) Good night (1132) Bad night (357)

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