"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.