after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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