uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
No subtext here. People are naked.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Randomize
