Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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