i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
