I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize