thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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