Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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