her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
