Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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