my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
