Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I love having hate sex.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
