Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
