Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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