Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
