So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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