is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
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