We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
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was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
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30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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