I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
