apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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