Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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