I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize