His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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