Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
