You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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