im holly from the hills drunk
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
