He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I smell stomach acid.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
