she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
