Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize