sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Me too!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
