Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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