I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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