do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
