When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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