I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
