she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
