Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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