So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
