Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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