so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
