Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
