she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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