Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
