Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Blood and glitter go together right?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize