omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
