I'm going to jail i love you
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
