im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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