awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
