Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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