about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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