you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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