Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
