Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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