in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
