i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
