so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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