WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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