bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
