i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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