If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
