Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
