so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
