I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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