Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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